What Messi's Penalty Miss at the 2026 World Cup Teaches Us About Mastery and Mental Performance

Playing to Win vs. Playing Not to Fail

By Dr. Blakely Low-Sampson, Licensed Psychologist & Sport Psychology Specialist

The Moment the World Watched

I have been a soccer fan my whole life. And as a sport psychologist, I watch the game differently than most. I watch the body language after a miss. I watch how a player talks to himself before a set piece. I watch what happens in the ten seconds after something goes wrong.

This World Cup has been a masterclass.

I had the chance to watch Lionel Messi play years ago — May 2, 2009, at the Santiago Bernabéu in Madrid. FC Barcelona v. Real Madrid, a match that ended 6-2. One of the most dominant Clásico performances in history. Messi scored twice. I was a few days from turning 21 years old, and about to head into my final year of collegiate soccer. I remember thinking I was watching something I would never forget — both as a player and as someone who would go on to spend her career in sport psychology. I was right.

So watching that same player — now 39, still on the biggest stage in the sport, carrying the weight of Argentina on his back — step up to a penalty kick and miss it is something I find deeply meaningful. Not because it was a failure. Because of what it means.

Messi became the first player in history to miss two penalties in the same World Cup tournament. He then went on to score a brace and become the all-time leading goal scorer in World Cup history.

Kylian Mbappé missed his first-ever World Cup penalty against Morocco in the quarterfinals — a moment where, by his own account, an unusual referee mix-up disrupted his pre-kick preparation and he let himself get distracted by factors outside his control. He then scored the go-ahead goal and assisted the second in a 2-0 victory.

The internet, predictably, had opinions about both players in these big moments. They choked. They lost their nerve. The moment was too big.

As a sport psychologist — and as a former soccer player — I see it differently.

What We Get Wrong About Failure and Mastery

When elite athletes fail publicly, the default narrative is that something went wrong with their mental toughness. That they choked. That they weren't ready. That the moment was too big for them.

I want to offer a different perspective.

The very greatest players are going to have more failures than the ones who never attempt to risk anything at all. Seeing players have moments where things don't go according to plan is not a window into their weakness — it's a window into their willingness to show up, to attempt, to be in the arena. When we watch how they acknowledge the miss, reset, and refocus on the next thing they can do to help their team, we are watching sport psychology playing out in real time.

When athletes begin to reach elite levels of their sport, many start to focus on eliminating mistakes from their game. It feels like the logical next step. But in doing so, they miss something critical: avoiding mistakes doesn't make us great. Pushing our ceiling does. Attempting new things does. Reaching new levels of growth does. That's where true mastery lives.

The only part any athlete can truly control is their own process — not the result, not the pressure, not what's at stake. Messi and Mbappé did not stop competing after their misses. They refocused on what they could do next. That is not a footnote to their greatness. It is the definition of it.

The greatest athletes attempt more, risk more, and put themselves on the line more than anyone else. They don't succeed because the outcome is guaranteed. They succeed because they're willing to show up when it isn't.

Even the Greatest Ask for Help

Here's something that doesn't get talked about enough: the players we admire most on the pitch have also been the most willing to acknowledge that they needed support off it.

Messi — the greatest player of his generation by almost any measure — admitted that he sought therapy during his years at FC Barcelona. "I was very reluctant at first," he said. "I'm someone who keeps everything bottled up. But the truth is, when I went, it did me a lot of good. I really liked it, and it helped me."

Christian Pulisic — the face of American soccer and a Champions League winner — disclosed that he battled depression during one of the hardest periods of his career, describing it as hitting "rock bottom." He reached out to a therapist. "It took me a while to realise that to speak up feels strong," he said. "I thought that I was too tough to need help."

Jude Bellingham — one of the most celebrated young players in the world — has spoken openly about the "macho athlete image" he tried to maintain. "I know there's been times where I've felt vulnerable, doubted myself and needed someone to talk to — and, instead, I've tried to keep up this macho athlete image of, 'I don't need anyone.' The truth is that I do, everyone does."

And Erling Haaland — arguably one of the most physically dominant strikers on the planet — has made meditation a visible, unapologetic part of his public identity, even using it as his goal celebration. "I think it's a really good thing, to relax, to try to not think too much," he has said. "The concept of meditation is to try to let go of these kinds of thoughts. It's really individual, but for me it's worked really well."

I find it incredibly validating to hear these players talk about their reluctance — the image they thought they needed to uphold in order to be "mentally strong" — and then acknowledging that seeking support wasn't just tolerable, it was genuinely helpful. That is a powerful reminder that we don't have to go it alone. We don't have to white-knuckle through every hard experience.

Our soccer players are not on the pitch doing everything on their own. They have a team around them. The same is true in life.

What's Actually Happening in the High-Stakes Moment

Haaland has said that when he steps up to a penalty, he focuses on staying calm, breathing, and trying not to think about what could happen if he misses — because "that's the worst thing to do." He's right. And here's why.

When an athlete is standing over a penalty kick, at a start line, or stepping onto the court for a big match, their mind and body are trying to prepare them to do something hard. That preparation is not the enemy. We need our bodies to be activated to unlock our performance ceilings. But we need it to work for us — not against us.

Elite athletes across the board report anxiety in these moments — a tightening in the chest, a quickening heartbeat, more rapid breathing, sweaty hands. This is a cascade of physiological changes because the body is preparing to do something difficult. The goal is not to eliminate that response. The goal is to have your hand on the dial.

Here's where the neuroscience gets practical: which part of the brain we activate matters. The amygdala functions as the brain's threat detector — when athletes focus on what they're afraid will happen, the miss, the failure, the judgment, the amygdala can become overactive, hijacking performance by triggering panic, freezing motor responses, or narrowing focus in ways that work against execution. But when athletes shift their focus toward what they're actually trying to accomplish — where they're placing the kick, what their target is, what their job is right now — research shows this helps keep the prefrontal cortex online: the part of the brain responsible for executive function, decision-making, and the higher-order processing that skilled performance requires.

These are not just psychological distinctions. They are biological ones. And they make the difference between freezing in the moment and performing in it.

What sport psychology teaches is not to fear or suppress the thoughts about missing. It's to recognize they're happening and redirect focus toward what you actually want to accomplish. That's the Recognize, Reset, Respond framework in action — and it's exactly what we see elite players do when they recover from a miss and go on to perform.

What This Looks Like in Your Athlete — and What to Do About It

The penalty kick is the most visible version of this. But the everyday version is what I see in my office regularly.

It's the athlete who doesn't push themselves fully in conditioning because they're afraid their gas tank is going to run out — so they hold part of themselves back instead of finding out what their true ceiling is. It's the swimmer who is afraid of what happens if they can't make it through a long set, so they pace themselves to survive rather than pushing to the next level. It's the player who avoids going to the front of the line in drills, who plays things safe, who won't attempt the one-touch pass being asked for because they don't want to make a mistake in front of their coach.

When we find ourselves more focused on avoiding mistakes than approaching the skill we want to develop, that's a strong indicator that we are playing not to lose rather than training to win.

Here is a practical benchmark: if you are getting through a training session and you have not failed or made a mistake, you are not practicing at the correct level of intensity. A useful target for mastery is succeeding roughly 85% of the time — and making mistakes the other 15%. If you're not missing anything, you're not attempting truly hard things.

If you're getting through a training session without failing, you're not practicing at the right level of intensity. Mistakes aren't evidence that something is wrong. They're evidence that you're attempting something hard enough to matter.

You're in Good Company

If you recognize yourself in this post — or if you're a parent who sees these tendencies in your child — welcome. You are in great company. Naming the challenge and getting support is not a sign of weakness. It is the beginning of a new level.

This is precisely the kind of work we partner with athletes on at Dr. Blakely Sport Psychology & Therapy — helping them become less afraid to make mistakes and more empowered and motivated to keep growing into their true potential.

The first step is often sitting down with someone who can help you understand what's happening in these moments — someone who can help you see that your mind and body are trying to protect you, but that you don't actually need those forms of protection in those moments. And instead of just telling you what not to do, a really good sport psychologist will help you understand what to do instead. How to get your hand on the dial to get in your zone. How to shift your attention to helpful thoughts. How to calm the body so you can calm the mind.

Together, you will collaborate to create a new way of taking on hard things.

Mastery doesn't live on the other side of a perfect performance. It lives on the other side of the willingness to show up — even when the outcome isn't guaranteed.

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Dr. Blakely Low-Sampson is a licensed psychologist and founder of Dr. Blakely Sport Psychology & Therapy in San Antonio, TX. The practice specializes in sport psychology, performance, and therapy for athletes, coaches, and high-performing adults. Services are available in person and virtually across Texas and PSYPACT states.

Ready to take the next step? Visit dr-blakely.com to connect with our team.